Pain is Pain....

It's a blustery Sunday here in White Rock.

I've just returned from a long walk in the rain. Tomorrow is the last day of shooting "Block B". It's been a bit more relaxed as we were only shooting two episodes in this block vs. the three we shot in the last block. I was fortunate enough to be allowed to sit in on a bit of editing on Friday...(which I was told they would never let a "normal" actor do but I seem to have, "more self-confidence than your average actor and behave like a real person instead of a child." So, I'm proud to be thought abnormal and am happy to report that the show looks pretty damn good! And, because I am in fact a normal actor on some level, I only had a few nervous twitches at seeing myself on camera. I don't think I need to do it again though....There are some things that it just seems improper to witness yourself doing from the outside. It's not natural.

I continue to get to know the crew. What a wonderful bunch of people! I had a most interesting chat with our Focus Puller last week. ( it's Larry's job to keep everthing in focus at all times. A much more difficult job than one might imagine - and I'm told he's worth his weight in gold!) Anyhow - Larry is one of those people who always seems to have a twinkle in his eye. He's always got a witty comment to make and, I think, often looks like he's up to something. An all around fun guy to be working with. So, I said as much to him the other day and commented on his positive attitude. Larry proceeded to tell me that he hadn't always have a good attitude tha,t in fact, he used to be quite a negative guy - but he's met a few shamen in the last few years who helped straightened him out a bit. He said he came to realise that life is short and it's what you make of it - so whether you have a good time, or a bad time, it's your choice. He also went on to say that once he came to understand that "human pain is the same, no matter what the cause of it is", that he really learned to chill out. I had to ask him to explain what he meant by the "pain is pain"-thing. Larry said, " Too many people think the pain that they are going through, or have gone through, is GREATER than any other person's pain, but that's not true. The pain that I felt when my mother was murdered was just as great for me in the moment I found out as is the pain a child feels in the moment it sees it's dog run over. In that moment of experiencing the pain - it's the SAME pain.

Now - I of course had to back track at that moment and find out if Larry's Mom had in fact been murdered, or if he was just using that as an example. It was no example. Larry's mother was murdered when he was 23 years old. (I didn't ask for details.) He went on to explain that afterward he adopted his two younger sisters who were 11, and 13 at the time. (!!!!!!!!) They lived with him for a few years before they decided to move back in with other family members. Larry said what he's most proud of is that his sisters both got through high school with good grades and never got pregnant. Not bad for a big brother doing a BIG job!!!

After our little chat I couldn't help thinking, "Wow, and I thought losing my Mom to cancer was bad.".....but that's missing Larry's point! The pain we've had in our lives isn't a competition - and yet we seem to want to make it into one. Why is that?
(Is the pain that Americans went through over 9/11 any greater than the pain that the rest of the world has gone through? They certainly seem to think so - and would have the rest of us believe the same!) If Larry can look at the pain of a child losing a pet dog as being equal to the pain of losing his mother - then that puts him in a prime place to practise EMPATHY...as opposed to making it into a competition and in so doing, belittling someone else's pain. Maybe that's what that twinkle in his eye is! Larry knows on some level that we're all the same and it allows him to relax and have a good time, to have a good attitude....because once you survive some of the pain that life has to dish out - everything else seems pretty light and fun! TWINKLE, TWINKLE!

Anyhow - there are some thoughts for a rainy day. Thanks for the eye openner Larry! TV show whatever!!!

R