Lord of the BORings!

Last night I attended a preview performance of the "World Premiere" of Lord of the Rings. I managed to score some cheap tickets ($55/each) through underground connections, and so found myself in the company of the lovely Audrey Dwyer, the delightful and pregnant Claire Jullien, and the charming( if not bratty) Thom Marriott. A fantastic crew to be seeing an evening of theatre with!

I will admit that I arrived with low expectations, but high hopes. Word has been on the street for sometime that the show is running at just under FOUR HOURS...and as someone who has to pee every 45 minutes, I was a bit worried from the outset. Also, four hours of anything is too long in my books. Audrey and I came prepared though with bags full of organic, sugar free treats....and I brought a giant flask of SCOTCH. One can never have too much scotch, and yes, I drink mine neat.

Thom and Claire had to boot it in from Stratford after Thom's rehearsal. We cut it a little close, so we missed the 'pre-show' which I hear consisted of a large group of Hobbits singing, skipping and chasing butterflies with giant nets. I'm sorry to have missed that because there is nothing I like better than seeing little people with hairy feet frolicking in the forrest. It warms the cockles of my heart.....

Anyhow....In spite of my negative headline, there are plenty of positive things to say about this little TWENTY SEVEN MILLION DOLLAR production of Lord of the Rings! Our Canadian actors more than hold their own up there, in particular Michael Therriault who plays Gollum! I cannot say enough about this incredibly talented actor! I can't remember ever having seen such an amazing, physical performance. It is such a JOY to see only the character, the actor having totally disappeared inside the mask. He steals the show, without question, and is worth even the full price of admission.

Carly Street as Arwen is lovely and I wish there were MORE of her throughout.

Paul Pyant is the lighting designer and his lights don't steal the show, they ARE the show! Lord of the Rings is one seriously impressive light show. His design borders on three dimentional and is truly magical. You really feel at though you are looking in on another world. I would not be surprised if he wins some sort of award.

And, as we all expected, the SPECTACLE of this production is impressive. Throughout, there are some truly wonderful stage pictures and theatrical effects. It is always nice to be reminded that the simplest of theatrical devices are often the most impressive: dark, hooded figures holding long wooden poles become a moving forrest for hobbits to travel through, stretched fabric becomes a raging river that swallows the Black Riders, a trap door opens and Frodo disappears when he puts on the ring....clean, simple, timeless theatrical tradition.

So where does this production fall down?

It comes apart where everything is this world comes apart: in simple human relationships, or in this case, Hobbit, Elvin and Wizard relationships. There are fine actors in this production but there is NO MEAT for any of them to sink their teeth into. With so much emphasis in the spectacle and epic vastness of trying to squeeze this tale into one evening of theatre director/writer Matthew Warchus loses what is fundamental to all dramatic action: we need to see one person be CHANGED by another, or be changed by their experiences. Where is the hero's journey? Whose story is it? Frodo's? In this "Cole's Notes" version of the story God help you if you haven't seen the movie, or read the books, because you'll have no idea what's going on, let alone who it is you're meant to follow through the story. There are simply far too many plot points to rush through, leaving no time for any relationship to be established, never mind be changed through the course of events.

Lord of the Rings has strong themes of friendship, loyalty, personal sacrifice, internal struggle between the soul and the ego, the rise of industrialism and the need for environmentalism. Where are these themes in this production? Where are the STAKES?! When Frodo makes the difficult and BRAVE decision to carry the Ring to Fire Mountain....he is blocked to be facing UPSTAGE!!!!!!!!!!??????????

Alas, the most fundamental of theatrical traditions: STORY TELLING is lost, buried under too much spectacle, diluted by songs that are NOT emotionally motivated and that do NOT move the plot forward in anyway. The result? I did not care about ANY of the characters ( save Gollum because M.Therriault's talent eclipses the flimsiest of scripts so that you cannot help but fall in love with him)....and if you don't care about the characters, then you certainly don't care what happens to them, and in my books that equals BOREDOM. If Matthew Warchus did not care enough to invest time in the development of character and relationship, the only two things that we can TRULY connect and identify with as audience members, then why should I? It is not enough to hit the plot points. One has to ask WHY is this plot point included in the first place? HOW does is EFFECT and CHANGE our hero(s)? If you cannot answer those questions then they should be cut.

Watching Lord of the Rings, sadly, was like watching four hours of fireworks. The first 40 minutes make you "oh" and "ah", and after that the spectacular explosions all look the same and you are left wondering what the point of it all is. If all you're after is light hearted, frivolous spectacle to distract you from the worries of you life for a little while - there's no problem. But if, after the initial enchantment wears of,f you yearn for substance...in this production you will only find it in those places that your mind fills in the gaps with what you know of the books, or the film. Too bad.

It will be interesting to see what the critics have to say in the papers. There is a LOT riding on this little show. Toronto needs a hit right now - the actors are talented and the spectacle is undeniable - both earmarks of a successful production...But will any of them have the courage to come forward and ask where the heart and soul of Tolkien's work is? I'm not sure....and, I'm not even sure if I'd want them to....because, I'd like to see Toronto knock one out of the ball park after SARS and the black-out and God knows what else that's damaged tourism in this town....And I'd like to see a few Canadian actors get stinking rich and buy themselves houses and be able to look back and say, "I was in that show".....And so, for the sake of a community that really needs a win, in spite of my venom and sadness around core of this production, I might be inclined to fall in line with everyone else and nod and say,

"Yes - the Emperor IS wearing clothes"

....but then again, I'm a shit disturber and I did lose FOUR HOURS OF MY LIFE last night....I'm just glad I was with good friends and a mickey of scotch because those two things can make everything seem OK in the end, and to quote Duv Lang, "It's just a fucking play".