A Bride Prepares V....Two more sleeps!

Clearly something is WRONG....

I feel calm and relaxed - I think the kids call it "chill". Our plan of action has been clearly laid out and all we have to do is follow the steps starting tomorrow morning...This is NOT the way wedding planning works on those "reality bride shows" on TV. Thus far there has been no hint, not a whiff of "Bridezilla"....Is it possible that our wedding might avoid all of those cliche trappings? Or is this merely the calm before the Storm to end all Bride Storms?!

There's nothing like having a group of improvisers help plan your wedding. They thrive on the unexpected - so what could possibly come up that one, or all of us, couldn't handle in some creative fashion? I suppose what has helped all along is that Bruce and I, since the beginning, have said, "Whatever's easy and hassle free." The closest I've come to a proverbial "bride-freak-out" has been to threaten to cancell using the Artspace next door to Loose Moose for our reception when the details started to get "fuzzy" - again, all in the spirit of, "If it's going to be a pain in the ass - CUT IT!" Maybe that's the theatre director in me exercising the K.I.S.S principal? (Keep It Simple Stupid!)

Ok. Confession time: I haven't written my vows yet! To be honest, this comes as no surprise to me. I've always left things to the last minute: major papers, class presentations, wedding planning! I seem to work better under pressure, when the motivation to produce comes in the form of knowing my ass is on the line in less than 24 hours! It has crossed my mind to just go out there and wing it! Improvise - take a suggestion and run with it....But then, I've never tried improvising under highly emotional circumstances before....Or have I? Isn't any emotional outburst, fight, or conversation improvised in the moment? I've never been at a loss for words then...Of course, a wedding is a little different -there will be over 100 people watching, listening - judging(?!)....

I guess what I'm wrestling with is the wording....What does one promise? Well, there are the old stand-bys: I promise to love, honour and obey you until death do us part....But how does anyone know that for sure? Until DEATH do us part?!!! What's "for life" anymore? I think we're all practical enough to know that there are no guarentees in this world, right? There are simply too many variables. Now, some friends have accused me of not being "romantic". Let's look at the definition of that word:

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of romance.
2. Given to thoughts or feelings of romance. See Synonyms at sentimental.
3. Displaying, expressive of, or conducive to love: a romantic atmosphere.
4. Imaginative but impractical; visionary: romantic notions.
5. Not based on fact; imaginary or fictitious: His memoirs were criticized as a romantic view of the past.
6. often Romantic Of or characteristic of romanticism in the arts.

....and let's take a closer look at this:

romantic - not sensible about practical matters; unrealistic; "as quixotic as a restoration of medieval knighthood"; "a romantic disregard for money"; "a wild-eyed dream of a world state"
quixotic, wild-eyed
impractical - not practical; not workable or not given to practical matters; "refloating the ship proved impractical because of the expense"; "he is intelligent but too impractical for commercial work"

Well OK - I guess I'm NOT romantic then, because damn it, I AM sensible about practical matters. I suppose this begs the question then: is marriage a practical matter? Never having been married, I can't say for sure....but I think it might be. Yes, love is a huge part of it, sometimes romance....but it seems to me that what's practical about it is the day-to-day living, and in day-to-day living you just never know what you might come up against...

This whole, " Our wedding is meant to be the BEST day of our lives", and "then we'll live happily ever after"....may well be romantic, but good God does it ever set you up for a fall! I want my wedding to be lovely, and fun - but I don't want to it be the BEST day of my life! How awful to have your BEST day at 33 years old...and then look forward to another 40 - 50 years of "just OK days"?!!!

Here's one of the BEST things Bruce ever said to me: jokingly, one day I asked Bruce if he would, "love me forever" and his responce: "I don't know." Now THAT was a practical answer, which to ME seemed the most romantic thing he could have said because it was HONEST and not coated in any sugary bullshit! Way to sweep me off my feet Horak! I don't want to know how the story ends! That's why I improvise - what fun to say, "I don't know what comes next...but lets take another step together and see where it leads us...". THAT's romantic, and heroic and BRAVE...and something worth doing together I think.

So - I guess what I need to do about these vows is allow for my own definition of romance, and let myself be OK with being practical and honest. I have NO IDEA if any of this will be until "death do us part"....I only know what I feel TODAY, in this moment, and that is: I love Bruce and I'm willing to TRY. I will give it my "best", knowing that no one can ever do BETTER than their "best" and that my best will be different from day to day....

Stick THAT in your romance pipe and smoke it!

;-)