The Ecstacy and the Agony...

I never thought I'd ever type this:

I did my first clown turn last night.

Blah! I know, I know...CLOWNS. SO much baggage attached to that word - I blush that the phrase "I did my first clown turn" has become part of my earthly experience. Ah well....

I'm not entirely sure that what we did really counts as an "authentic" clown turn, or not. I'm sure there are many purists from the "clown community" who would argue, and be able to site many "clowning authorities" as why our performance might not "count"....However, and regardless - it was a TON OF FUN!

Bruce and I have been performing at the Spiegletent N' Tavern...down at Harbourfront Centre.

The scene: a cafe in Paris....a bistro table and two chairs. A bottle of wine, two glasses, a dish of chocolates.
Sitting at the table: ME.
Wearing: a gorgeous red dress with black polka-dots...a vintage reproduction called "1930's Bombshell", perfectly pretty make-up, epic eye-lashes, red lips and...a RED NOSE.
The premise being that I'd been waiting for a "Blind Date" for over two hours...so obviously he's not going to show. After a bit of toying with the audience, I ask if there's some gentlman who might like to join me. A very excited young lady in the third row volunteered her boyfriend(!)....So, I brought "Mike" up on stage to be my date. He kissed my hand, we drank wine, I fed him chocolate and made him suck my finger...then asked if he'd like to slow dance...And, as things seemed to be going well....offered a "first kiss". Ah - Mike - the perfect audience volunteer! Both nervous and game...So we kissed...And then I teased him about kissing like an "English" person....all tight and closed mouthed, and encouraged him to be brave, and reminded him that we were "alone" in our french cafe....And - after much cheering from the crowd - he made out with me! Then I told him I was a virgin - and perhaps he was feeling passionate enough to take me on the table then and there?! And Mike was embarassed, but the crowd encouraged him...and so, he gave it a slight attempt.....So, to save him his discomfort...I excused myself to the powder room and left him sitting at the table....

That's when Bruce entered (also in clown nose) with his CNIB CANE....My actually BLIND date! And Bruce made his way to the table and assumed that Mike was ME...and started the date all over again! I returned from the powder room and coached Mike through the whole scenario again - only this time, with Mike playing my role....pouring wine for Bruce, feeding him chocolate, slow dancing....Mike didn't seem keen to make-out with Bruce at which point Bruce "discovers" that Mike is a man and challenges him to a pool noodle dual - a fight for my honour! In the end, Mike won and we ran off the stage, crying, "Love is Blind!"

What a BLAST! It's been so long since I have performed live....I forgot how thrilling it is, how much of a high I get from it...and how I LOVE to play with an audience. And - it is amazing what PERMISSION a red nose gives you as a performer, and what permission it gives an audience! I was amazed that an audience volunteer was willing to make out and mime hump me...And what great laughs it got too....I may be hooked!

Then this morning....a tiny bit of agony....

A good friend (whose identity I will protect) is in town visiting his brother....so we made plans to meet for lunch. I ended up running into him on the street 30 minutes before we were to meet. Spying him crossing the street, I called out his name and rushed in for a hug. I misjudged the distance and we ended up smashing feet together, awkwardly, as the hug was executed - me in open-toed sandles, him in runners. OUCH! I thought, "I really stubbed my toe there"....And then looked down to discover that my smarting toe was now SANS TOE NAIL!!! And....then the bleeding started....And I have since been reading on the internet that it will take A YEAR for my toenail to grow back!!!

Once again - the Universe brings balance to an over-ecstatic performer!

"Keep it real Northan - you may be feeling pretty good about yourself this morning...but BAM! Your feet are still on the ground and now one of them is bleeding! Take THAT NOVICE CLOWN!!!!"

:-)