Grandma's "Special Shakes"...

Let it not be said that I won't try anything once....

As I am still in considerable PAIN (I now know that I have a slightly herniated disk that is causing nerve pain to run down my leg) I have been taking Tylenol 3s that are left over from having my fibroids removed last summer. Alas, Tylenol 3s do not last forever, especially when you're popping them like "I'll only just have one potato chip".

So.

What to do for pain control once the Tylenol runs out?

Luckily there is a cafe not too far from us that is part of the Compassion Society of Toronto. This means that users of medicinal marijuana are able to purchase a membership to gain access to the private rooms upstairs and use an atomiser to dose themselves. This way they are not house bound with whatever condition has lead them to using medicinal marijuana, but can say to friends, "Meet me for a coffee!. Hurrah!

This fabulous cafe, aside from making THE BEST breakfast sandwich I've ever had in my life, also sells "special shakes", or rather, smoothies. They are all organic, non-dairy, vegan friendly and contain either essence of Sativa, or Indica.

( I had never heard of these things either....Here is an brief overview:

The tough fiber of the plant, cultivated as hemp, has numerous textile uses. Its seed, chiefly used as caged-bird feed, is a valuable source of protein. The flowers (and to a much lesser extent the leaves, stems, and seeds) contain psychoactive and physiologically active chemical compounds known as cannabinoids that are consumed for recreational, medicinal, and spiritual purposes. When so used, preparations of flowers (marijuana) and leaves and preparations derived from resinous extract (hashish) are consumed by smoking, vaporizing and oral ingestion. Historically, tinctures, teas, and ointments have also been common preparations.)

Off we trotted to the cafe...ok - I didn't trot, I limped and whinced my way there. Once inside Bruce went to the counter to order. We're regulars at the cafe, solely up to this point for the mind blowing sandwhiches, so the staff were pleasantly surprised by our order. ( I guess we're not the NARCS we come across as). Bruce explained my problem, the symptoms and the level of pain that I was in ( 8/10 that day)...And "Christian" (not his real name) assured me that he would make a smoothie that would have me forgetting my pain in no time. Five minutes later, Bruce and I were standing out on the patio, me imbibing in a healthy magic smoothie, Bruce reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows out loud to me. In short order, I finished the shake and Christian told me I should feel the affects in about an hour...

Bruce and I returned home so that I could lay down and he could continue reading Harry Potter to me. (so sweet!) Christian was right....within the hour I started to feel...not like myself. I was most certainly experiencing some sort of "body high", and as it continued, Bruce's voice seemed to be coming from the end of a very long tunnel....And then, I had to go to the bathroom...

I could hardly stand on my own, so Bruce came to the side of the bed to help me up, and that's all it took - nothing monumetous, or jarring - and I was well on my way down the slippery slope of a full blown FREAK OUT!!! I started to panic, my heart was racing, I was crying uncontrollably, hyper-ventalating....every step I took towards the bathroom felt as though it would most certainly be my last. I kept asking Bruce what was happening to me, and then alternatly telling him that I don't think I ever need to have one of those shakes again, and why would ANYONE do this sort of thing for recreation?! Bruce of course realised what was happening to me and spoke calmly while rubbing my back, telling me everthing would be OK - until I blurted "YOU'RE SCARING ME!!!"....And then he just quietly lead me to the bathroom. I'm sure it only took about two minutes - but to my addled brain it was taking FOREVER, and I would surely die before ever making it back to bed.

By the time I got back to bed, the 'freak out' had passed and I was quiet....Until I got snacky and needed to eat flat bread and hummus (I guess I'm too urban for Doritos)....and then came waves of uncontrollable laugher - which caused SO MUCH PAIN in my back....that I couldn't stop laughing and crying, laughing and crying. What a vicious circle!

Eventually, the laughing passed and I was quiet again. Of course, I had no chance of following Bruce as he read and I had to keep asking him to explain what was happening in the story. Then the phone rang, and as I lay in bed listening, all thoughts turned black and all I could think was how much a hated Bruce for being on the phone, not telling me who he was talking to and telling whoever it was that I was in bed stoned out of my mind.

The strange thing is that even as all of this was happening to me - there was a calm, observer in me that kept saying "It's just the drug, breathe, it will end soon enough." I HATED EVERY MOMENT OF IT.

After some time, I fell asleep - and woke up only slightly "hung over" the next day.

PHEW!!! I never, never never need to go through that again. I'll take the back pain, thanks. Bruce figures that I had an allergic reaction as my experience seemed unusually intense to him. Blah!

Grandma is happy to sticking to last year's Tylenol 3s!!!